March 24, 2003 

"Envy: Keeping My Eyes Focused on God" 

Basically, envy is desiring something that I don't have, that I can't have, or that I wish I had.  This is a simple definition, but I think it takes in what envy is.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that when envy wishes grave harm to another, then it is a mortal sin" (2539).  Envy can go to that extent.  St. Thomas Aquinas tells us, "Envy is sorrow or sadness over another's good because that good is regarded as something that is being withheld from me or taken away from me" (A Tour of the Summa, 36-1).  It might be somebody's reputation.  It could be anything that somebody else has that I feel that I should have.

Envy will manifest itself in discord, hatred, malicious joy, back-biting, rudeness, jealousy, accusations, rivalry, and competition.  It's a very competitive sin.  It will manifest itself as sadness or coldness at somebody's success or joy at others' failures or faults.  It's not a very pretty sin, is it?  And yet we inherited all of this, and it will show its ugly head in many different ways.  The fruit of envy is always death.  The struggle we have is to choose life or to choose death. 

In the story of Cain and Abel, we read that Cain killed Abel out of envy of God's favor to his brother (Gn 4:1-11).  Scripture tells us that envy entered into Saul when he tried to kill David because Saul had slain thousands, but David had slain tens of thousands (1Sm 29:5).  There was envy again.  In the story of Joseph and his brothers, we read that because Joseph was the favorite of their father, out of envy, they tried to kill their own brother (Gn 36:1-28).  We can see how deadly this sin is, but we need to see it up close: how is it manifested in me?  We need to constantly check and watch the movement of our hearts, and listen and be sensitive to our feelings.  Where are my feelings leading me? 

Envy will try to show itself in some of these following ways: do I feel sad at another's success? Could I really rejoice with that person, or did I kind of feel a tinge of sadness?  Or maybe do I rejoice in their failure?  Envy will do that.  Envy will manifest itself in jealousy of others' gifts, their power, their recognition, their achievements, their applause, their praise, their popularity, or even their spirituality.  Envy can manifest itself if we believe someone is more prayerful or holy or virtuous or humble than we are.  We can be envious of all of these gifts.  We can especially be envious if we think or feel that God loves somebody else more than He loves us.  Usually we won't turn against God, but we might turn against the person whom we feel is the object of God's favor and goodness. 

So I have to honestly consider if envy makes me hate or dislike others at all, and if it does, then I need to go further and find out why.  Does envy cause me to find fault with others, put them down, misjudge them, misinterpret them, or compare myself to them?  Do I find myself complaining to the Lord or others through envy because I don't have what they have?  I might not put it that way, but sometimes I might need to take a closer look at why I am mumbling, murmuring, and complaining.  Is it because I feel God wasn't just or fair?  Is it because I feel He didn't give me something that I thought I should have, and He gave it to somebody else instead? 

For people who pray, this is a deadly sin because it will destroy the silence within us.  It will just churn everything up, and it can absolutely destroy the silence within.  Satan wants to destroy the silence and peace within us because that is his way of separating us from our relationship with God.  Have you ever gone to prayer churning inside, and you come out of prayer and you're still churning inside?  Nothing was resolved, nothing was healed.  There was no connection with God because you never got out of yourself.  You were all wrapped up in this envy.  We can put in our time for prayer, but we may not connect with God.  We didn't take the problem to Him and hear from Him and receive His touch.

Here are a few little practical things to help us overcome envy.  We need to pray constantly for the gift of wisdom and not take it for granted. We need to activate the gift of wisdom because we need to see things from God's point of view (and it's usually quite different from our point of view!).  We need to hear; we need to know.  It's like going up on the wings of the eagle, into God's presence, in a very contemplative listening posture, and having a whole panorama come before us that we couldn't see from our own little selves.  Seeing from God's point of view can set us free. 

Practicing more self-denial will definitely help.  We need to pray for an increase of humility and charity.  We need to journal this sin through-we need to journal our emotions and feelings because we need to work it through, or it can take us down very quickly and separate us from God.  We need to thank God for whatever good is done, no matter who does it.  We need to learn to praise Him in all things and for all things.  This will really start to uproot envy much more quickly. 

We know that we please God in accepting His will for us.  This can be difficult in envy because we're looking around at what God is asking of other people.  Peter did this.  After the fish fry scene, Jesus said, "Come follow Me, Peter."  Peter turned around, saw John, and said, "Well, what about him?"  Jesus said (I'm sure gently and lovingly but firmly), "Peter, that's no concern of yours" (see Jn 21:23).  So if we find ourselves looking around at what everybody else is doing, what everybody else has, or what God is saying or doing in their lives, envy can come right in and take us down.  One of St. John of the Cross' beautiful maxims is resignation-resignation always to God's will for me.  We need to keep our eyes focused on God and on His will for me.

Excerpt from Mother Nadine's "Prayer Warrior Summit: The Glory of Prayer Warriors,"2002.