August 11, 2003

"Discerning Consolations"

As we mature in our commitment, the challenges of the spiritual life will definitely be more subtle.  The evil won't be obvious.  Satan would never use something really evil with people like us.  Obviously we would just turn our back on it, and so it's going to come more in consolations for us.  In the First Week of the Spiritual Exercises we were given a set of rules of discernment by St. Ignatius that dealt mostly with desolation.  Desolation is the tool the enemy uses is to cause us to think, "Oh I don't know if I can give this up" or "I don't know if God is ever going to do anything for me."  We can get discouraged and stay away from deeper conversion and letting go.

Now in the Second Week, we've already made the choice to follow the Lord, and so the temptations will be more subtle.  They will be more in the form of consolations.  This is difficult to discern because we're so used to thinking that desolation is of Satan and consolation is of God.  Desolation is never of God, but consolation can be from God, or it can also be from Satan.  That's why it's much more difficult for people who are already Christian and trying to follow the Lord to discern which consolations are from God and which are not.  It's very subtle. 

St. Ignatius said that one of the times that we can know that the consolation is always from God is when nothing happened in our lives to precede or cause the consolation.  There's absolutely no human reason that we should be in this phenomenal peace or there is no human reason that we should have joy.  Our whole life may be falling apart, or we may be frustrated and discouraged at work-whatever it could be-and all of a sudden, there is this phenomenal peace!  Have you ever had that?  There's no reason for it.  There's no reason that we are happy, but we are!  We have joy!  This is consolation.  It's pure gift from God.  If there isn't any preceding cause, like if we have just been criticized at work or have been frustrated at our job or just had a terrible day, and we come home and are filled with tremendous peace, then God is gifting us with consolation.  This is the Lord.

However, God mostly gives us consolations with reasons.  We might hear a beautiful song, and it's consoling.  We might have a wonderful beginning of a prayer period-that's consolation.  We might have received some good news, and so we're going to make a decision.  God usually uses natural things in our lives to bring consolation; in other words, things with a preceding cause to bring us consolation.  It might be something that we understand or some activity of our senses.

Now the enemy can give us consolations, too.  They may start out just like the Lord's.  There's a saying that Satan doesn't mind singing in the choir loft in Church if he can get us to change and go his way.  And so Ignatius says we have to check and discern consolations.  If we are having a prayer period, and there's a certain thing we're trying to discern, we need to check the beginning, middle, and ending of our prayer.  It might have begun in consolation.  It usually will.  It could be the "angel of light" (Satan).  If it is the angel of light, we might see the tail of the serpent in the middle of whatever we're trying to discern.  It's going to come up.  If it doesn't come up then, it will come up at the end.  We discern that if we do this, what will the fruit of this decision be in a week from now, a month from now, and a year from now?  If Satan is in consolation at all, St. Ignatius says his tail will eventually show up. 

If the whole experience of consolation is good from the beginning, the middle, and the ending, then we can pretty much trust that it's of God.  For example, we might have a wonderful consolation in prayer, a light from the Lord, calling us to fasting or calling us to deeper holiness or just feeling really loved by God.  But in the middle of our prayer we could get some thoughts like, "Well, Lord, how come everybody doesn't fast?  It's just a shame that there are people who are not fasting today.  Why can't people really want holiness?  I mean, look what You're doing to me!  What can't this happen in other people's lives?"  Now we're starting to look at ourselves, or we may start getting resentful because others are getting more graces than we are.  We may become more judgmental in the consolation itself.  That can enter right into the middle of our prayer time.  Or like the Pharisees, we may think, "Well, they're not like me.  I go to Mass every day, and I'm really being very, very, very good.  I really appreciate all You're doing for me, Lord.  It's just too bad that other people can't be like me."  It's going to be very subtle.  If we have similar thoughts, then the consolation that we originally received is not from God.  It has led to sin within me right away.  This is exactly what Satan wants. 

Or maybe towards the end of our prayer, we are thinking this really looks good (whatever "this" is that God is showing us or saying to us), but the end result or fruit of it is going to separate us from others that we shouldn't be separated from, and ultimately maybe separate us from God and from prayer.  Maybe we're going to abandon a commitment to people that we should be committed to or a situation that we should be committed to.  Jesus said, "Watch the fruit" (see Mt 12:33).
 
Ignatius learned about false consolation very subtly.  He was not educated and had to go back to grade school as a grown man.  He was sitting in the classroom when all of a sudden, he started having wonderful things happening to him that he wanted to go into prayer.  He was in the classroom now, and all these wonderful revelations and spiritual experiences started coming right in the classroom.  He couldn't concentrate.  He didn't even know what the teacher was saying.  God let that happen to show him, "This isn't of Me.  You are to be in this classroom.  You are to be learning.  You are to get a degree and get out of here.  I've got other things for you to do."  So if we see that we're being called to prayer when we should be working, we should be very careful and discerning.  Prayer is good.  The angel of light will present something good, but it's not what we're supposed to be doing or where we're supposed to be. 

This is why we don't make a decision right when we get the consolation.  We may think, "Oh God wants me to pray two hours every day during Lent."  That's really good.  We may feel really good about it, but two or three or four days later, we may not be able to pray for two hours.  We may get discouraged, which is exactly what Satan wants.  The discouragement happens because God didn't call us to this in the first place.

I made a big mistake on this one time while the cloister when the sisters used to ask me to do things for them.  I had very little free time, but I had read that the little Flower had said that she never refuses the good God anything.  So I made poor discernment.  My discernment was that every time a sister asked me to do something, it was the Lord.  I assumed it was the Lord speaking to me through these beautiful women, and so I never refused them anything.  I started getting up at 4:00 a.m. to get things done for them.  Then at 3:00, and then at 2:00 until I was practically sound asleep when it was prayer time.  I was exhausted.  Then I began to realize, "Lord, I don't think this is You asking me to do all this."  He finally said, "No, I never did.  You assumed."  You see, it sounded good, didn't it?  Charity.  I thought, "Why would Satan come in on charity?  It's such a good thing."  But he can.  He'll do that with us.  Satan will use very good things, but if it interferes with our state of life, what we're committed to, and what we should be doing, then that will not be the Lord, either. 
So consolations are difficult to discern. 

We always need to check consolations out, particularly if it's about something major.  Even with fasting, it is always good to check it out because it can injure our health.  Satan would love for us to go downhill and get fatigued.  We may think, "Well, the saints did this" or "Mary said to fast on bread and water."  Maybe so, but that may not be for us.  We need to be sure to check it out.  The big mistake that Eve made in the Garden is that she simply didn't go back and check it out with God.  So check it out with someone you trust, someone who knows you and the way that God works with you.  Sometimes it's just walking the decision through-"f I do this, where will I be a month from now?  Will I be closer to the Lord?  Will I be closer to the people that are in my life?  Will I be more fervent in my prayer?  Will I be more committed to Jesus?  Will I be more free?  Or will I be burdened down with all my devotions or whatever?" 

So be careful.  The challenge that Jesus always gives us is to follow Him more closely and to take up the Cross.  It will always call for a response from us.  St. Paul said, "You yourselves used to be in the darkness.  But since you have become the Lord's people, you are in the light.  So you must live like people who belong to the Light, for it is the light that brings a rich harvest of every kind of goodness, righteousness and truth" (see Eph 5:8-9).   Try to learn what pleases the Lord and Christ will shine on you.

Excerpt from Mother Nadine's "Heart-to-heart Listening: Experiencing Jesus Intimately,"  2000.