March 8, 2004

"Active Listening"

The Lord has taught us to help people learn how to listen through what He calls active listening.  In active listening, we're listening, but we're also asking questions and listening for the answers.  If we go into the quiet and think that we're going to listen, we can't listen very long to silence.  The distractions will start, and we may be listening to ourselves or to all the noise within.  The Apostles asked questions all the time.  I never realized that until, while still in the cloister, the Lord wanted us to teach some seminarians how to pray.  I said, "How do You want us to teach these men to pray?"  He said, "The same way I taught the Apostles.  Let them ask questions."  When we read the Gospels, we found that the Apostles constantly asked Jesus questions, and He always gave them an answer. 

So we are children, and children love to ask questions.  This is how we begin, but the key here is only ask one question at a time.  If we ask two or three or four questions in sitting or in one little paragraph, as a rule we will find silence.  If God answered us, we wouldn't know what question He was talking about, so we only ask one question at a time. 

We place a great deal of emphasis on journaling.  We usually write the question and answer out.  You might want to start with a favorite Scripture and ask, "What do you mean by this, Lord?"  Or if you have something that is really bothering you, you can put that before the Lord.  Be very specific, but just ask one question at a time.  "Lord, I really need to hear from You about this." 

Then write what starts to come to your mind.  The wisdom within is going to start surfacing.  Our tendency may be to skip writing it down, saying, "Oh, this is just me."  Even if the first part is just us, it's still the Holy Spirit who is getting that out so room can be made for God's Word.  When our interior is so filled with our words and thoughts, there isn't much room for God's words and thoughts.  So He has to empty us out. 

So be sure that you are faithful to your journaling.  Ask questions.  When Gabriel came, even Our Lady asked a question.  Don't hesitate to ask a question.  Jesus is a teacher, Rabbouni, and teachers love questions. 

Excerpt from "Having the Heart of God," Escondido, CA, 2002.