March 7, 2005

"Unless You Change"

At this stage of the journey we want a new heart.  Everybody wants a new heart, a healed heart, a whole heart.   In this early stage of the interior journey, wonderful things happen.  It is like a conversion.  It brings a lot of consolation.  It is goodness.  God is baiting us to begin a serious life of prayer and if He introduced us right away to some of the other things that happen, we probably would get discouraged.  You know, God just lets us know one thing at a time.  You probably have become aware of that - one little step at a time.  This first stage is very much like a honeymoon in a sense.  There are a lot of consolations.  He is baiting us.  He is luring us into the desert so that there, He can speak to our hearts.  But, we cannot stay there.  Remember, on Mount Tabor they said, "Oh Lord, it is good for us to be here."  We say that periodically along the journey and He keeps saying, "No, we have to grow."  We have to change and that is the beauty of the growth. It implies change.  But change is difficult.  God is changing us constantly, hopefully, day to day.

Jesus said, "Unless you change and become as a little child, you cannot enter the kingdom."  There are some principles of growth for this change.  The saints and theologians say that there is no one ideal method.  They caution against that because at this stage of the journey we are used to methods.  It is kind of a secure place for us to be.  We think we have to put things in their little pigeonhole areas but the theologians and saints say not to do this now; rather just accept the moment to moment will of God throughout the day.  That sounds simple, but it is also a little frightening when we do not know God that well yet and we do not know what that moment-to-moment journey will be.  St. Therese, the Little Flower, said that the heart of the gospel message is in the little things for the little ones.  God used her so powerfully to bring back the beautiful spirituality that Jesus, Himself, always had - that spiritual childhood - in the little things.  St. John, the apostle, said that that is who we truly are - children of God.  So it is always going to be the little things.  These little things happen to be the little ladder of our sanctification, and this is one of the ways that we respond to His call to come higher.

It is daily.  Jesus taught us to pray that way to the Father. "Give us this day our daily bread" - just what we need for one day at a time.  He also said, "Take up your cross daily."  Thanks be to God we do not have to see the crosses beyond today!  We might, as the Little Flower said, turn tail and run.  We would be frightened.  This journey is a daily process with little sacrifices.  The Little Flower used to say that the little sacrifices were like little straws that she would throw on the fire within, and that is how she would keep the fire of God's love burning.  We can do this with the little day-to-day, moment-by-moment things that God is asking of us.  Usually, He asks it of us by showing it to us.  With little children, you really don't explain much to them; you just show them.  So the events of our day are God's way of simply showing us how to act.

Teresa of Avila said that the whole aim of any person who is beginning prayer is to make every effort to bring his or her will into conformity with God's will.  We cannot get away from this constant will of God because this is what union is all about - at least in this life.  This is where this peace is: where our will is one with His will.  Then we will definitely have peace on earth in this earthen vessel.  Our will is at peace because it is one with God's will.  Teresa said that the king doesn't give Himself but to those who give themselves entirely to Him.  Jesus speaks about this in Matthew 6:24 when He says, "We cannot have two masters."  We have to choose.  We are either with Him or we are not.  There isn't any compromise.  There isn't anything in between.  There are simply two kingdoms, as St. Ignatius teaches us.  We have to commit ourselves and our ways to God and then God will act (Ps 37:5).  So it can be a little scary right at the beginning because it is calling us forth to a deeper level of commitment into an unknown area of a God that we do not know that well yet.  Peter said, "We have given up our possessions and followed you" (Lk 18:28).  As the saints tell us, contemplation cannot be obtained unless one is really serious about the Gospel and living the Gospel generously, giving everything to the Lord. 

There are principles for change other than accepting His choice, but I believe this is the primary one. Sometimes we have the erroneous idea that we are going to find it all by ourselves.  "I have to seek God's will and then, after I discern His will, then I can make my choice."  But, really, it is much more simple than that.  God has already made up His mind.  He said, "I know well the plans I have for you.  They are plans for a future filled with peace and hope" (Jer 29).  He already knows it.  We just have to find out what His will is and accept it.  Discernment becomes quite simple when we put all of it back on the Lord. 

There are a few reasons that we do not want to accept God's will.  Maybe we feel, "But Lord, I am not in the ideal community.  You just don't understand."  "I am not in the ideal family.  We have problems."  "I am not in the ideal marriage."  Maybe we do not have the ideal superior.  Maybe we do not have the ideal Bishop. Maybe the people we work with are not the ideal co-workers or associates.  That could be true, but God is saying, "Choose to accept My will for you now, in this event, or in this person now" - not when we have better health, not when we have more money, not when we have more silence, not when we have more time.  We always want to say, "But Lord, I need more time - more time."  God is choosing everything for us now, if we would have eyes to see and ears to hear.  Someone once said, "The whole world is a cathedral," and it is!  So nothing - nothing  - happens by chance.  It is all ordained, and it is for us to choose to accept.  So we say, "Oh Lord, this is really hard.  This is hard!"  He will come right back with His word from 2 Corinthians 12:9.  He does not say, "No, it is not hard."  He will just simply say, "But My grace is sufficient for you."  What are you going to say to a God who always has an answer?  He is the answer, and His grace is sufficient.  But we struggle with that.  So now our prayer changes because it is true that His grace is sufficient.  We begin to say, "Then, Lord, give me more grace!  Give me more of Your life, more of Your presence, more of that love power!"

Excerpt from Mother Nadine's "New Creation," Omaha, NE, 2004.