May 9, 2005  

"Determination vs. Humility"

Another principle for change is determination.  We have to have a motive.  I don't know where my mother got this - it must have been a cliché when she was growing up - but it is a tape that constantly plays within me.  She always used to say, "Where there's a will, there's a way."  If you really will it, if you really want it, you're gong to find time.  You're going to find the way.  So the principle for change is to be determined to finish.  That's perseverance, which is another grace that we need from God.

"Whether we live or we die, we are the Lord's" (Rom 14:8).  That is a beautiful Scripture to ponder because it sets us free.  "Whether we live or we die, we are the Lord's."  If we live, we have more of God's life in us because God is life.  If we die to ourselves daily, we still have more of God's life in us because the more we die, the more He lives.  One of our intercessors happened to notice that right in the word obedience (which is the most perfect way to die daily) is the word die.  (Just in case you hadn't noticed!)  So if we are going to follow the Lord, we are going to take up our cross daily and follow Him.  If we are going to practice mortification, we are going to die daily so that He can live more fully within us.  I believe that when we look at it this way, it helps us to overcome our fear of dying daily - our fear of letting go - because it is a win/win situation all the way.  The more we let go of ourselves, the more we can hang on to God.

It is truly a descent into love.  It is a descent into humility.  Humility is truth and the truth will always set us free.  When we are moving in the little way, when we are moving in this truth, God teaches us.  He teaches the humble His way.  He teaches children.  It's no wonder that all throughout our Church history, so many of the apparitions have been with children.  They do not argue with the Lord or with His Mother.  Grownups argue, don't we?  We have to rationalize things, but children do not.  They are teachable.  "God teaches the humble His way."  The more childlike the saints became, the greater depth they experienced during prayer, and the greater their prayer was, the deeper their union became.  It pleases God to give light and love to His little ones - to the humble - to the beautiful sinner in the Gospel who said, "Oh Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner."  God is a God of mercy.  He loves to give us His mercy.

As we said before (and we can't stress it enough), humility is the foundation of a relationship with the Lord, but it has to be practiced like any other virtue.  It has to be practiced.  Jesus gives us a little hint when He says, "Learn from Me for I am meek and humble of heart" (Mt 11:29).  In this level of prayer, we can go directly to Jesus and learn of Him because Jesus said, "I am meek.  I am humble of heart, and I want you to learn My heart."  So the hallmark of humility is obedience.  We know if we are obeying or if we are not.  If we are obeying God's word, humility is growing within us.  It is hearing God's word in different ways.  It might be through your prayer journal.  It might be through the Scriptures, God's Word.  It obviously and should always be through the Church's authority and through the Church leaders.  Jesus was saying to His Apostles one day, "He who hears you, hears Me."  God is behind His Church and behind Her leaders.  So there are many ways that we can obey as little children.  Teresa of Avila says that no path leads more quickly to the highest perfection that that of obedience.  Isn't that amazing?  It's beautiful!  Jesus is saying to us again, "Come higher, friends.  With Me now, always do whatever pleases the Father."

Another guideline that can let us know if we are growing into this humble posture which God is calling us to is our reaction to praise and blame.  We can check ourselves.  If someone is judging or criticizing you, how are you reacting?  Remember, this happened to Jesus, too, and He said, "No servant is greater than his master."  He is always going to say, "Come higher, friends through the royal way of the cross" because that is the way to heaven.  That is the way into purity and freedom.  That is the way into the beautiful obedience of Jesus, Himself.  Teresa of Avila said that the soul is then freed, and it reigns when persecuted.  Isn't that interesting?  Then you are set free.  So persecution is a gift.  John of the Cross wrote his greatest love story when he was being persecuted.  Look at the Apostles, coming out after being beaten and whipped, rejoicing because it made them more like Jesus.  There is a grace and a power that moves within us to accept it.  Teresa said that she never seemed unable to find a reason for thinking she was being virtuous when making excuses for herself (The Way of Perfection, Ch. 15).  So we have to check ourselves - are we making excuses for ourselves?  This will tell us a lot about how free we are to be with Him.  It will tell us how free we are to be in that beautiful posture of a child.  In Isaiah 53 we read, "The silence of the Lamb who was led to the slaughter and opened not His mouth."  That is tremendous humility out of pure obedience to the Father's perfect will.

Silence under accusation can be practiced in very small matters.  It is not going to harm our health at all, as some corporal penances can do.  It might hurt our pride a little bit, maybe, but that is what it is all about - to bring us into deeper humility.  Teresa said, "We can never be blamed unjustly since we are always full of faults. . ." (The Way of Perfection, Ch. 15:7; also see 15:4).  Have you ever felt that you got away with something and then, all of a sudden, you might get blamed for something you actually didn't do?  You can get all kind of puffed up and prickly about it, like, "Well, I didn't do that!  How come I'm getting blamed?"  But look at what we get away with sometimes!  So it all evens out in God's plan.  He taught me this very early when I entered the cloister.  The novice mistress wanted me to acknowledge a fault for a broken glass.  We had to acknowledge faults, it seemed, almost daily in the novitiate.  We were always doing something wrong.  But this particular day she told me about this glass and I thought, "Oh thank goodness I didn't break that glass.  That's not my fault."  She said, "That doesn't make any difference.  Look at the things that you have done that nobody knows about.  We are here to repair the faults of others so you acknowledge the fault for the breaking of the glass and repair that fault."  So, this is what intercessors do.  It doesn't make any difference if it is our fault or somebody else's fault.  It all comes out on God's slate perfectly balanced - just the way He wants. 

So let the Spirit lead.  Let Him show us what He wants.  God will always defend us - always.  We don't have to defend ourselves.  We can be silent, as well.  Jesus said, "I will give you another Advocate," this beautiful Spirit of Truth.  So if you remain silent under criticism (and I'm mentioning some of the Way of the Cross because this is part of the call to come higher), if you are being criticized and you remain silent under the criticism, then you can really gain great freedom from the concern and worry about what others are thinking about you.  There is something in us that always wants to be in good standing with everybody so that people will think well of us.  But God will have things happen in our life so we can be set free from that bondage as well, so that we can soar into the heart and the mind of God - so that we can come higher.  It is a stripping process.  It is a stripping of self to come higher.  Once God said to me that in order to come higher, I must become lighter.  He said, "I mean Lighter - capital ‘L.'  Just be full of My light!"  So coming higher is coming out of darkness into His marvelous Light.

Excerpt from Mother Nadine's "New Heart," Omaha, NE, 2004.