May 23, 2005  

"Letting Yourself be Polished"

Sometimes we're not aware when the gifts are working except by the fruit.  Jesus said, "A tree is known by its fruit" (Mt 12:33)  For example, you might not think that prudence is working within you until you begin to see, "I'm judging this situation differently.  I'm looking at this person quite differently.  I'm making a decision quite differently.  I'm looking beyond now.  I'm thinking more, ‘What does God think about it' or ‘What does God have to say?'"  So we're making a Passover, and maybe we can see it by the fruit our self, not even realizing we're starting to think more about somebody else's concerns before making a decision. 
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God showed this to me very vividly when I was getting ready to enter the cloister.  As you know, my family is not Catholic and my father was having a very, very difficult time with my entering the cloister.  It was a very strict way of life, of course, and my brother was concerned about that.  There were just the two of us so he (my brother) came to me and said, "You know, if you do this, you will never see Dad again."  Dad had already disowned me once for becoming a Catholic, but that had been repaired and reconciled, and now he was getting ready to disown me again because I was going to go into the cloister.  It was true - the cloister I was going into never had a home visit.  So if daddy wanted to see me, he would have to come to see me, and it would only be once a year for about an hour or two.  My brother was aware of this and said, "If you do this you will never see him again."  Until now, I hadn't realized I was making a passover into the Illuminative Way, but my answer let me know that I was thinking differently now.  I said to my brother, "Oh Don, that's all right, because I would rather see Daddy forever in heaven, and I will."  So, obviously, I entered the cloister. 

Our focus in our decisions starts to shift.  It shifts from our little world and the world we live in to God's world and His thinking, and somehow it will start to change us.  Jesus reminds us of this when He said, "Seek My kingship, My way.  Seek it first."  It doesn't just say "Seek," it says, "Seek it first."   He's got priority here.  Everything else will be given, even in the situation with my father.  A few months later, God gave him the light and grace, and he started to visit me at the cloister.  Finally one day he said, "We are starting to make a passover from the freedom of the law to freedom in the Spirit, to God's law, that new law that He said, "I will write in your hearts."  It is the law of love. 

We are beginning to think more like God.  We are giving others what is their due and that is love.  We begin to feel obligated to protect others and their reputation.  We feel that we need to respect others and treat them as God does, in other words, loving them as God loves me.  It's the Golden Rule of God's love that starts to come.  can't imagine you being anything but Catholic.  I never knew there was so much love here."  He was experiencing it himself from the Sisters.  So God will put everything in place if we let it go and seek Him first.

As we start to make this passover in God's Light, we'll begin to make decisions differently because it's not just about me anymore.  It might be about a whole family.  It might be I'm making a decision now for the good of the Church, or maybe the good of the community that I live in.  We consider things, always, from God's point of view because that gift of wisdom is starting to operate more.  There is tremendous freedom that comes. But whenever we are not loving others as God would want us to, there is a desire to repair it.  If we are violating His law of love, we want to do something about it.  If we are gossiping, and maybe we still are because we are creatures of habit, this light from God will begin to show us not to say that anymore.  So we don't talk that way anymore.  We only speak good things about people, or we don't say anything at all.  God starts to illumine us with all these little lights in the Illuminative Way because He is very gently changing us to become more and more like Himself.  Remember God created us in His image and likeness, and He is Love.

The saints warn us that when we look at anyone, we never know how God sees that person.  We never know if we are looking or interacting with a very special friend of God.  We never know God's design on that person.  But we really don't have to know if we are giving everyone the love that God wants them to have.  All of us are God's friends, and in this beautiful justice and these cardinal virtues, we will find that we will have a deeper concern for all of God's friends.  We call it social justice.  It is not just concern for an individual.  We will want everything to move in God's plan for everyone, always for God's greater honor and glory.  We are starting to make more of a passover now.

Patience comes forth in a much deeper way. Patience will support the virtue of fortitude.  Long-suffering takes patience so God uses it so patience can grow within us.  Wherever we had the tendency to say,  "Let's get it over with, Lord, and move on," we might hear, "No.  Let's just stay here."  When that happens, we find what really bothered us, what was causing us our suffering, oftentimes just goes.  It might be that somebody in our life bugs us and rubs us the wrong way, and we're constantly trying to move on and get away from that.  But the Lord will say, "I'm giving you patience now.  I'm giving you fortitude.  Stay here and let yourself be polished.  Let this event be for your good." 

We are getting these lights from God, now, to know His mind-this is what He wants.  So hope is born because we know this suffering is not going to last forever, but for now, this is what He wants and so this is what we do.  We learn how to endure hardships in this patience.  We learn how to suffer in silence, and calmly, without a lot of self-pity.  We especially stop passing judgment on the person or whatever situation that is causing us this hardship.  In the Illuminative Way, with these lights, we can even begin to rejoice in the sufferings of Jesus.  A tremendous grace comes forth from the cardinal virtue of fortitude that helps us make this passover.  It's what Jesus did.  It's what the Jesus in me wants to do, and there is actually joy there.

Excerpt from Mother Nadine's "New Heart,"  Omaha, NE, 2004.